Q&A Home > S > Sin I suffer continuously with blasphemous thoughts and feelings that are too disrespectful and horrifying to mention by word. I was watching a video about Abba Macarius's vision of the afterlife. Is it possible for me to repent if I have internally agreed with these blasphemous thoughts instead of fighting them because I was selfishly preoccupied with my other lusts? I am worried and I hope I am not eternally condemned. I want to repent sincerely and defeat and get rid of these blasphemous thoughts. I have tried to confess this in confession. Am I ever able to take Holy Communion? I do not want to receive Communion unworthily even though I am always unworthy. Let us learn from the wisdom of our fathers and apply their advice without fear or hesitation:
"Are you a sinner? Do not become discouraged, and come to Church to put forward repentance. Have you sinned? Then tell God, 'I have sinned.' What manner of toil is this, what prescribed course of life, what affliction? What manner of difficulty is it to make one statement, 'I have sinned'? Perhaps if you do not call yourself a sinner, you do not have the devil as an accuser? Anticipate this and snatch the honor away from him, because it is his purpose to accuse. Therefore, why do you not prevent him, and why do you not tell your sin and wipe it out, since you know that you have such an accuser who cannot remain silent? Have you sinned? Come to Church. Tell God, 'I have sinned.' I do not demand anything else of you than this. Holy Scripture states, 'Be the first one to tell of your transgressions, so you may be justified.' Admit the sin to annul it. This requires neither labor nor a circuit of words, nor monetary expenditure, nor anything else whatsoever such as these. Say one word, think carefully about the sin and say, 'I have sinned.'" (St. John Chrysostom, On Repentance and Almsgiving, Homily 2).
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