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Past Sins (1)

• I am having a problem dealing with overwhelming guilt over sin. Just yesterday and today, I committed several sins that I had abstained from in almost a year. I asked for forgiveness and read about forgiveness in my Study Bible. The guilt is just too strong and I use it as an excuse to continue in these sins more. I was abstaining from this sin for all this time because I thought that by doing so, God would give me something that I had been asking for. My number one purpose for not sinning was not for God. I did not get what I want and I remember over the course of this year, I would check and see if what was I asking for was still available, simply because if it was not available, I would just go back to my previous sinful lifestyle. Even though I knew this, I still continued to allow myself to be tempted and entertained these thoughts. I put myself in a position where I would sin. I can't let go of the guilt of losing almost a year of being "sin-free". Could it be a pride issue? I know God completely forgets our sins when we confess and repent, but I just feel that this is something that I may not be able to forget.
• I am wondering, what is the proper response to falling into sin?
• I am in great need of your spiritual advice and guidance. This is in regard to a very serious matter in my life. I have been battling and waging a spiritual war with the devil and my inner evil against the evil sin of adultery (This is not the form of adultery with an actual woman, but rather through my senses-eyes and body). I have grown to understand this sin more and more, and have become stronger in battling against it, yet it still has control over me, and it eventually causes me to fall after much struggling against it.    I have started a regular prayer schedule in the morning, in the evening, sometimes in the afternoon, and whenever I feel I need to be spiritually strengthened. I read a different part of the Holy Bible every day, and I read three particular chapters in the Holy Bible on a daily basis (I read Ephesians chapter 6 before I pray, Romans chapter 12 and 1 Corinthians chapter 13 in the morning before I begin the day, and I try to read new chapters in the Holy Bible in the evening or before I go to sleep. I must mention, however, that I occasionally do not pray at night due to laziness or being too tired). I am always aware of my sinfulness, and I repent and confess at least once every one to two weeks. I go to church every Sunday, dress as a deacon, and partake of the Holy Communion. I usually attend Vespers and the Holy Midnight Psalmody (Tasbeha) every Saturday. I am also a servant at my church, and I try to serve as much as I can due to the strong desire of love I have to do so (I call up the kids, set up trips for them, give them spiritual classes, and try to strengthen their spirituality). I commit sins, nonetheless, on a daily basis, but I usually seek God's forgiveness, and do my best to try to eliminate these sins from my life (often, I will be drifting away from God in my life, but the Lord will usually bring me back to the right path).   Self Control is definitely one of my major spiritual problems. When the sin of adultery enters my mind, I have learned to be able to overcome it for a period of time through prayer, fasting, prostrations, etc. I am able to struggle and overcome a few times, and for periods varying from hours to days and even weeks. But eventually, I am tempted extremely to a degree that I am no longer able to resist, and I give up ultimately out of exhaustion and commit the sin. I repent after I commit the sin, but once I've fallen, it is very difficult to overcome the sin anymore, and I am usually unable to fight until I confess and take communion again.  Please, your grace, I am greatly troubled by this sin. It is overcoming me and bringing me farther and farther away from our loving God.    What is your spiritual advice/recommendations?
• I have done a lot of sins in the past because I was scared to refuse. Now, I am celibate and do not do anything sexually, and I try to follow God as much as I can. Will God still send me a future spouse that is fit me, or is the chance of meeting someone gone because of my past mistakes?
• I suffer continuously with blasphemous thoughts and feelings that are too disrespectful and horrifying to mention by word. I was watching a video about Abba Macarius's vision of the afterlife. Is it possible for me to repent if I have internally agreed with these blasphemous thoughts instead of fighting them because I was selfishly preoccupied with my other lusts? I am worried and I hope I am not eternally condemned. I want to repent sincerely and defeat and get rid of these blasphemous thoughts. I have tried to confess this in confession. Am I ever able to take Holy Communion? I do not want to receive Communion unworthily even though I am always unworthy.
• Is there any difference between the word 'sin' and 'iniquity'?
• It is written in the Holy Bible in 1 John 3:4-10 that whoever is in Christ does not sin, "Whoever sins has neither seen Him nor known Him … He who sins is of the devil … Whoever has been born of God does not sin, for His seed remains in him; and he cannot sin, because he has been born of God." How is it then that even when we are born again in Christ and 'know' Him that we sin?
• I'm a Sunday school teacher, and I have to teach a youth group about the consequences of sin. Could you please help me?
• What is meant by not all sin lead to death in 1 John 5:16? Do not all sins lead to death?
• Why did God plant natural lustful feelings and desires within every person, and then ask all of us to go against them and try to overcome them until marriage? Also, it is very common for teenagers to have these feelings and desires, and it is very difficult for most to overcome them. Is it a sin to have these feelings because, after all, they are natural? How should the youth deal with this issue?
• Your Grace’s lecture 'Original Sin & Atonement' http://www.suscopts.org/messages/lectures/soterlecture1.pdf teaches that sin, any kind of sin, is considered unlimited since it is committed against the unlimited God. Now that sounds logical but if all sins are unlimited then:

  Why are there different punishments for different sins in the Old Testament? Some punishments more severe than others e.g. punishment for adultery = stoned to death (Deut 22:20) whereas punishment for fornication = pay the woman's father 50 shekals of silver and marry her all the days of your life (Deut 22:28-19) etc.
  Some sins are punished by death others not by death but something less severe, if both are unlimited why is one offense punished more than another?

• "If anyone sees his brother sinning a sin which does not lead to death, he will ask, and He will give him life for those who commit sin not leading to death. There is sin leading to death. I do not say that he should pray about that. All unrighteousness is sin, and there is sin not leading to death" (1 John 5:16-17). Two possible interpretations could be:
  1. The only sin leading to death is the one which has not been repented from; and so we should pray for everyone, no matter what, until the last breath in their lives. After their death there would be no point in praying as the sins a person dies with, he dies with. Although someone pointed out that God who is above time would know that we are praying for a person after his death and may as a result of those prayers do something in his lifetime; hence one of the reasons (but not the only reason) why we pray for the departed.
  2. The reference to death here is a reference to physical death, and whilst St. John is not necessarily asking us to pray for physical healing, the prayer for spiritual healing should continue...
  Are these interpretations correct? Are there any other interpretations? What are the sins leading to death?