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Q&A Home > P > Parenting One of my friends uses this with her kids --- if you embarrass me, I will embarrass you. So, if the children misbehave outside and she is embarrassed by their behavior, she will embarrass them by punishment or discipline. One day I saw her son standing facing the wall in a not hidden corner in the church. He was in grade one, and now he is in grade four going to five. He is well behaved, from what I see. Is that OK to be told to the children and to follow through with if you embarrass me, I will embarrass you?
- 1-Which is better, to give an allowance or to let them earn it?
- 2-Is it OK to give a gift like a cheap toy for things like memorization?
- 3-How about discipline or reward for behavior in the church?
There are many methods of parenting. If you ask yourself, if you are that child, how would you feel? There you will have your answer. In the long run, complying out of fear is less productive than complying out of love. In my opinion, the threat of embarrassment is really not necessary at all and neither is it that helpful. Will that fear of embarrassment hold that child back from becoming more assertive, outgoing, or spirited, and cause him to dodge any form of leadership in other areas later on in life? Will it transfer negatively to other situations, other adults, other people of authority, or older children? Authoritative parenting is far more effective than the heavy-handed authoritarian parenting. Sometimes, a child does need a few minutes of Time-Out to regain some control over his/her behavior. It is important to discipline, but not to the point of breaking the child's natural, happy, and free spirit.
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