Q&A Home > A > Alcohol/Alcohol Consumption > Alcoholism

My wife has been an alcoholic for many years now. In the last year, she has been trying to get help via a Christian recovery group, because there is no program in the Coptic Church. Although, she is trying to make a visible effort, no one in my family is aware of this situation, and the stigma of this issue just encourages more isolation for all of us. I believe this will not resolve and she will struggle with this for the rest of her life. This is impacting me and my young children, psychologically as well as physically (she has driven with them while drunk). I am aware of the church position on divorce although this current situation does not seem stable or healthy to my kids. I have no trust in my wife after many years of lies and deception. You cannot have a meaningful relationship let alone a marriage with someone if you do not have a basis of trust. I am trying to be loving, supportive, encouraging, and patient although I believe our marriage is severely fractured. I have a love for her although I am no longer in love with her. What should I do?

Dealing with a beloved family member battling alcoholism must certainly be an excruciating time for you and your young children. Please do not think that divorce is the only option. Alcoholism is a disease. Your wife must be determined to fight it throughout her life, but nothing, absolutely nothing, is impossible with God. It is comprehensible that you feel that you are no longer in love with her. It is hard to be in love with someone when that person with whom you had fallen in love has complete transformed into someone else. All illness takes a toll, but mental health and addiction carry an extra, heavy burden, stigma, and lack of social support. Your wife must admit to her addiction and be willing to enter treatment, which you conveyed that she is trying to do. Our diocese does have a ministry for addiction, but it is only for men. There are many professional therapists in the Coptic community at many locations that can also provide treatment or guide you to a good facility. It would be helpful, not only for your wife, but for the entire family to receive ongoing counseling throughout recovery and beyond for relapse prevention. May the Lord heal her completely and preserve your family.