Coptic Orthodox Diocese of the Southern United States
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I am a bad child. I defy my parents and often do not obey. I find that the cause is our house and how we live. I do not know how to stop. Usually, on a normal day, I use my phone the whole day, and after school, I do not do any homework or anything, which results in having bad grades as well. I just want to know how to fix all of this.

Taking responsibility for one's faults is the first step in fixing relationships. The gap and heartaches in relationships happen when people blame each other. It is unclear how your house and how you live are the cause, but those circumstances are likely factors in stabilizing the family system as it is. Destructive patterns build over time and the family gets stuck in repeating and perpetuating unseemly behavior. Thus, begin by assessing the situation before responding when a confrontation occurs between you and your parents. These few extra minutes will help you to choose alternative ways of reacting to a situation before it escalates negatively. Those small shifts in behavior are significant because when one person in the family system makes some positive changes, even small ones, the others will have to adjust in different ways to re-stabilize the family unit. It will not happen overnight, but the situation can improve if you are determined. Admitting to one's mistakes is the Christian life of repentance required of all of us. No one is perfect. The Holy Scripture and the lives of the saints prove how loving and forgiving God is toward those who repent and confess their sins: "If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land" (2 Chronicles 7:14).
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