Q&A Home > R > Repentance

• Commentaries on Genesis 3:9-13 confirm that, St. John Chrysostom, St. Symeon the New Theologian and St. Dorotheus of Gaza all believe that if Adam and Eve had repented during their conversation with God they would have been forgiven and not been exiled from Paradise. Our traditional explanation seems to contradict the opinion of these fathers. I have always heard that God "had" to fulfill his promise of punishment, however to be honest I feel that these fathers give a more accurate portrayal. Ultimately it was Adam and Eve's failure to repent and confess that banished them from Eden. What are Your Grace's thoughts?
• I am 18 years old. I used to go out with someone from church and we recently broke up; because I wanted to take a break and get closer to God. He was lying to his parents about our relationship; and I felt I was getting in the way. But ever since we broke up I felt farther from God. I don't attend church to avoid seeing him and I feel sad and hurt from inside. I still want us to be together in the future. When we were together we did things we weren't happy about and I regret them from all my heart. We were serious about our relationship and planning to get married in the future. We were together for 4 years and we did love one another. We also helped each other to become closer to God and work harder on our studies. I pray to God about it to let me do the right thing; but I just can't find the answer. I want to go to church to focus on God but I don't know how. I feel bad for all I have done; and I regret many things. I don't know how to go back.
• I am a deacon and I go to church regularly. However, my personal life is far from being close to God. Sin prevails in my life: smoking, cursing welcoming lustful thoughts, bad language, and worldly desires. Consequently, I am not doing well in school. I want to change and be with God. Please guide me.
• I experience extreme strong guilt after committing a certain type of sin. This guilt is so strong that it completely consumes my thoughts and makes me feel depressed.and anxious to the point where I have trouble sleeping and also continue in sin because of the guilt. Usually, accompanied with this guilt is the urgency to go to my Father of Confession and confess what I did. There have been times, because the guilt is always so.unbearable, that I go to confess the next day after doing what I have done. Unfortunately, I feel that this causes a burden on my Father of Confession because of my repeated meetings to that point where my family has expressed that what I am doing is unacceptable. I know my Father of Confession spoke with one of my parents saying that this was not the case, but I do agree that I have become a burden on my Father of Confession. Now I am suffering from the extreme guilt from committing this sin, and it seems that the earliest I could go to see my Father of Confession is in about two weeks. I am not sure how I will be able to handle the guilt, depression, anxiety, etc., for that long. To.make the situation worse, because it is Holy Week, I feel that I will be so distracted when I try to watch or attend this week's services and be unable to benefit and enjoy this Week, especially the Feast of the Resurrection. I understand that having this urgency to confess is a good thing, but is there any way to control this? Do you have any.advice that can help me to benefit this week?
• I have been confessing to my father of confession about the same particular sin for over 3 years now. I've tried everything. I fast and pray and read the Bible. It seems that I'm still getting no where. I really want to stop this particular sin, but I don't know how. I have almost just given up on myself, but I know there must be a way to control temptation. I hope Your Grace can help me.
• I sinned very much when I was 18 till a few months ago. When I turned twenty, I realized the consequences of my sins and have stopped. But the only reason I stopped was because of fear of the law. I pray now and everything but I am very troubled psychologically. I keep getting these thoughts that something very bad is going to happen, and I even think of suicide I used to be a deacon, but I stopped because I feel so embarrassed. I have confessed in general (I did not mention the action I did, but the sin itself) and I stopped doing all this wrong. But these thoughts still trouble me greatly. I thought of seeing a psychologist, because I get these mood swings. One day I'm happy, and the other I'm very depressed.
• I think I am having trouble being committed to living a life of true repentance. I was previously living a lifestyle of sin that was destroying nearly every aspect of my life. This also had an impact on my spiritual life and spiritual understanding. Yet, even with this, I am still having the problem of completely letting go of my previous sins. I may not be committing the acts, but I do feel like I "miss" it and have the desire to go back. I allow myself to have lustful thoughts about it very frequently, which I know brings me closer to going back to committing these sins again. God has showed me how much my old actions have negatively impacted my life in a major way, and I am still dealing with the consequences now because of my past sins. Regardless of this, I still feel that I want to go back to my sinful ways. I really feel that once I can completely break free of these sins, I will be able to grow spiritually, and possibly, the sufferings in my life that have resulted from this sin will pass. However, I am just having so much difficulty with this. I feel that what I need is a clean heart, ("Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me" (Psalm 50:15). Isn't this something only God can do in us? What can I do to receive this from the Lord?
• Is it still considered repentance if you are trying so hard to leave the sin, but you still fall every time you are tempted but still continue to pray and ask God for forgiveness and feeling bad after you sin?
• I'm afraid of the end of the world or my life because I am afraid that God will not accept me at the end. It all depends on what I do now and now I am not doing right nor am I repentant over the wrong that I do. What is Your Grace's advice?
• I'm allowing sin to have dominion over me and I don't know how to really have a repentant heart. I also don't feel comfortable enough to regularly speak with any priests that I know. I promised myself that I would not let this season go by without doing this. Could you please offer me any advice?
• The parable of the prodigal son is always given to show God's acceptance of repentant sinners. Many similar stories (from the Bible or Church history) are told of people who lived in sin their entire lives and one day some life-changing event happens, and they became saints. But this narrative is so silly because the vast majority of people do not change overnight, and certainly not without a good motive.  What if the prodigal son after returning to the father gets bored and decides to sell the ring and all the other expensive stuff his father gave him, and makes enough cash to leave him again? Say he makes the same bad investments as before and ends up broke again, then returns to his father again saying the same words: "I have sinned before heaven and thee, no longer worthy to be your son, make me one of your hired servants." Would the father accept him again this time? Would he kick him out? Or would he take him up on the offer and make him a servant (teach him a lesson, sort of speak)? If the father accepts him again as a son, what is to prevent the son from staying again for a few days, then leaving a third, fourth, fifth time, etc... Clearly, he can enjoy the best of both worlds: his father's wealth and the company of his bad friends. Aside from any emotional bond he may have with his father (which he clearly did not have), why would he not keep going back and forth as long as he says, "Sorry, Daddy," every time he returns? If you have not understood the point of this question by now, what I am asking is: - Is God's acceptance of sinners who repent and confess their sins endless (i.e., will He continue to forgive repeat offenders until they die)? - If the answer is yes, why would any self-serving rational person not take advantage of this by enjoying the pleasures of sin as long as they say sorry after their offensive behavior or sin (which is what repentance essentially is)? Important Note: I am saying that any self-serving person "would" take advantage of this system, but I am not saying that they "should." Self-serving behavior is something we all do whether we like to admit it or not (e.g., hiding the good deeds we do on earth so that we receive a reward in heaven); a self-serving prodigal son would likely take advantage of his father if there were no consequences. However, that does not make it morally correct.