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How do we know that in the verse, "he who spares his rod hates his son," that it is speaking symbolically about discipline and does not actually mean hitting child / corporal punishment?

The word discipline is derived from disciple, and Christian discipleship is the process of learners following and imitating Christ, as well as His disciples, who among them are our parents, just as St. Paul instructed us as a father and bishop, "Therefore I urge you, imitate me" (1 Corinthians 4:16): 

If God meant that the actual "rod' would be used to beat a child, He would not have said, "Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me" (Psalm 23:4). The rod and staff are a source of comfort, not discomfort, not pain, not humiliation. Rather, the rod is a tool for guidance and protection even in the most excruciating circumstances. For parents to spare the rod, means that they neglect to discipline and correct their child. Thus, if one falls to perilous times, the correction and discipline that his parents provided him would sustain him.

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me" (Psalm 23:4).

In addition, add the beautiful blessings in Psalm 121:

"I will lift up my eyes to the hills—from whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to be moved; He who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, He who keeps Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade at your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord shall preserve you from all evil; He shall preserve your soul. The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in from this time forth, and even forevermore."

These blessings are because His rod and staff are a source of comfort for us as well as the rod of instruction and discipline that our parents used to correct us and to preserve our souls from evil.