Coptic Orthodox Diocese of the Southern United States
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I have been battling severely against adultery. There are days when I fight extreme forms of temptation (the type that prevents me from eating, sleeping, and concentrating leaving me sweating and breathing heavily in much agony), and during such times, I have sought God earnestly, weeping bitterly and heavily before him for His help in much prayer. Days will pass with this type of agony, and it always happens that I cannot overcome, to the point where sin must be committed to relieve this agony and pain.  

It seems that our Free Will to choose our destiny, yet we end up being slaves to what we choose. If we choose to disobey God, we are slaves to Satan; if we choose to follow Satan, the consequence is hell. Therefore, we have to be FORCED to obey God in order to avoid hell. So, it seems that the way of God is forced upon us in order to escape suffering a despicable death in eternity.

We are told to remain strong, faithful and to have hope; but frankly, I cannot accept such a God who will just leave us alone in our times of need; even when we cry for help. Also, I don't see any kindness in a God who would allow us to suffer trying to overcome sins.

The problem is that you have been in bondage to lust to the extent that you allow harmful thoughts and activities to fill your mind. Constant thinking about adultery will not help you rid yourself of it. Just the fact that you are thinking about it is in itself a sin (Mt 5:28). You have to have faith that through Christ you can do everything and that the power of the Holy Spirit will give you the ability to overcome sin in your life. A person's spirit is fed by what is allowed in to feed it. For what you sow is what you will reap. So, once lustful thoughts and desires start to enter your mind choose to meditate on things that are pleasing to the Lord. He has promised to reward those who diligently seek Him and His ways. If you start praying while still harboring these thoughts in your mind; your prayers are in vain. Do not bargain with God thinking that once you prayed God has to answer your prayer immediately. The Holy Bible teaches us not to worry "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus" (Phil 4:6,7). You need to pray with supplication and in humbleness. Continuous prayer and prostrations (metanias) could help you rid yourself of these temptations.

It is not enough to pray asking God to deliver you from this sin; you need to do your part in this fight. You need to distant yourself from the cause of this sin, from the thoughts and the person with whom you commit this sin. Self-control and obedience to God will help you gain control over lust, rather than allowing lust to control you.

Do not blame God for your struggle. As you said we all have the free will to choose good or evil. God is very fair. He did not promise us an easy life on earth. If you choose the easy way on earth, the way of sin, do not expect recompense in heaven. On the other hand, if you choose to follow God's commandments and keep yourself righteous and pure; you will enjoy God's promise of  an eternal life in His kingdom. You reject being a slave to God; while the Holy Bible teaches us that it is a privilege "For just as you presented your members as slaves of uncleanness, and of lawlessness leading to more lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves of righteousness for holiness....But now having been set free from sin, and having become slaves of God, you have your fruit to holiness, and the end, everlasting life" (Rom 6:19,22). St. Paul goes further saying we are no longer slaves but sons "Therefore you are no longer a slave but a son, and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ" (Gal 4:1).

Meditate on God's words as often as you can. Psalm 119 is a great psalm to read and meditate upon. Repeat to yourself the verse "Your word I have hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against You" (Ps 119:11). As you read the Scriptures and meditate upon them daily, you will have victory over your sin. Remember that either sin will keep you from God's Word, or God's Word will keep you from sin. Believe that God will answer your prayers at the time He deems suitable.
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