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How does the Church deal with a rape victim? I was raped by my boyfriend and I am hesitant to talk to my father of confession about it. I know I am at fault for allowing certain ungodly things to happen but I never wanted it to go that far. I know that I have to confess about my ungodly actions but do I have to tell my father of confession that I was raped? Do I have to tell the Church or my future husband when I get married?

Every case demands empathy and requires special attention. We are aware that many rape cases are date rapes. What you said in your email is all you have to say to your confession father. Repentance is about sincere contrition. It is not a court of law. The priest will not put you on trial, but will absolve you and help you to start a new chapter in your life. Rape is an assault on a victim. This is not something that you need to confess about, but the perpetrator needs to repent about this transgression. If you and this boyfriend were engaging in some consensual sexual activity that went beyond your expectations, you need to reveal your desires and intentions and take responsibility for your actions in your confessions. Repentance and confession is about you, not the other person. Every priest is different and offers advice and counseling in various ways. If your confession father is aware of the rape incident, perhaps he can counsel and guide you holistically, inclusive of that painful experience in your life. As for when you get married, every man will react differently to these circumstances. There is no need to bring up your past to just anyone. When you are in a serious relationship leading to marriage, your confession father will guide you best.