Coptic Orthodox Diocese of the Southern United States
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Recently, I found out some news about my friend that has been troubling me very much. She was diagnosed with a serious illness earlier this year. She has the first stage of this disease now. I am the only person she has told, thus far. Her family and Confession Father do not know yet. She has been undergoing treatment for 6 months and two kinds of treatments have not succeeded, so she will soon be put on a third type. She passes out without any warning about 2 to 3 times every week for an hour or two at a time. Her doctor says this is a normal symptom of her illness and recommended her to a therapist who she sees on a weekly basis.

My friend asked me to not tell anyone about this issue, not even her priest. She is worried about telling her priest because he may either tell her family or the news may spread. The reason she does not want to tell her family is because they are already dealing with many other issues. Should I keep this information to myself and continue to pray for her or should I tell her priest, even though she has told me not to do so? I feel it is wrong for her to undergo something like this without telling anyone who is close to her and in the faith to guide and help her. At the same time, I am not sure if it is right to break her trust. I am struggling with worry and fear about the impact this disease may have on her life and if it will progress. I pray every day that God will strengthen my faith and to trust in Him, but still deal with some anxiety about this matter.

Your friend is very blessed to have you on her side. I think it is important for her to conceal her condition for now. Your trust is valued and in a way is therapeutic for her. Therefore, I encourage you to wait for her to reveal her condition to whom she desires and at the time she desires, unless she is in grave danger. When people are diagnosed with a serious condition, they sometimes feel extra vulnerable of being stripped of any control they thought they had in their own lives. When it is a serious illness like the one your friend is facing, the prognosis is usually not very good. She needs to regain some sense of control and stability in her life again. Your support is more crucial than your help. If you or I or her parents or her confession father start to meddle at a time that she is not ready, this can cause her more stress. When she is satisfied with your support and asks your opinion, then you may gently suggest confiding in other loved ones. If her condition requires immediate attention, then encourage her to tell at confession father. Prayer is powerful. May the Lord guide you with His wisdom and heal your beloved friend.

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