Q&A Home > C > Confession Father

• Ever since my father of confession moved to a different church, I feel like our relationship has faded away. When I confess, I don't feel like we are comfortable anymore with each other, like we are strangers to each other. I want to have a father of confession with whom I can have a relationship. I'm afraid to confess to a new priest because, sooner or later, he will move and it will be the same problem. I can't confess to the priest that has been at my church because I feel like he's my dad and I can't confess to my dad. What should I do?
• For the last few months, neither my friend nor I have been able to confess to our father of confession for several reasons. Our first reason is because of the language barrier. We feel like Abouna does not understand what we are saying; therefore, we don’t get the guidance that we are seeking every time we confess. The second reason is cultural differences. We still hold fast to our Egyptian culture but we need someone who understands the temptations and tribulations of living in the American culture and trying to balance both worlds at the same time. The third reason is because every time we confess we always say the same thing and He always gives us the same answers over and over. For example, we always argue with our parents and when we go and tell Abouna and ask for guidance, all Abouna says is, “in the Bible, it says we need to obey our parents,” which is true; but, we are 17 yr olds and we have heard this ever since we were kids. We need something deeper and step by step guidance. Because of these reasons, we have been unable to partake of Holy Communion for several months. So, here we are today writing to Your Grace for guidance on what to do. Should we continue with our father of confession or should we search for a new father of confession? If Your Grace believes we should search for a new father of confession, who would Your Grace suggest?
• Greetings, I am a member of the Ethiopian Orthodox Tewahedo Church in Sweden. I have converted to Orthodoxy as an adult. My spiritual father, whom I love, and most of our Ethiopian priests in our Church and in most of Sweden (I believe) do not speak Swedish or English well. Since I cannot communicate in Amharic, what do you think that I should do? I need a confessional father.
• How do you react to a spiritual father who seems to be neglecting or avoiding a person?
• I currently do not have a father of confession for reasons such as language and cultural barriers. I have not been able to build trust with the priest of my church. I have been told to go ahead and confess to him anyway for the sake of confessing and I wholeheartedly followed that advice. But, now it has come to a point where I cannot find it in me to do it anymore. I have always longed for a father of confession who guides me and watches over my spiritual growth. I desire someone who cares for my salvation. I have asked many friends if they know any priests, but I always feel bad asking other priests because I know they are probably too busy with members of their own congregations. What does your grace advise me to do?
• I have been struggling in my confessions. I am not comfortable with my father of confession because he is not helping me at all. I want to grow in my spiritual life but I can't do that if I don't have guidance. I read a lot of spiritual books and increased my Bible readings. My dilemma is that in the books I am reading, the church fathers say in them that my father of confession should be following up with me. I feel like I go to a doctor and he tells me what is wrong with me although I know what it is and I feel the pain but he is not giving me medicine. I have to grab what is on the shelf and I am afraid that it might be harmful. I don't know what the best thing to do is; should I just go confess my sins for the sake of cleansing and just figure out the spiritual advice I need from books on my own? I can't change into any other priest in that area because I think I am going to have the same issue; they are either too busy, or they won't care because I don't go to their church. Some of my friends suggested that I talk to someone I feel comfortable with out of state. I tried that in the convention and I loved the priest I sat with and he gave me good advice, but that will mean I will confess on a yearly bases? Will he remember me? Will he be able to follow up with me? I am not sure; please help me because this is really bothering me.
• I love my father of confession and he has helped me many times. However, lately I feel that he has been getting more and more busy (though this may just be for these days until we get a new priest to help him). Recently, I was unable to set up a time with him for confession/spiritual guidance and I had an urgent matter needing guidance at the time, so I spoke to another priest. This priest is in a nearby city though I never met him in person but by phone. He was very helpful, gave me the time I needed (as opposed to feeling rushed or that I am taking up time from him as I often feel with my father of confession lately), and gave me a lot of practical advice (much more than my father of confession usually does). I am torn on what to do. Should I remain with the same father of confession for the sake of distance? Should I change my father of confession, but perhaps all of our interaction would be over the phone? I am also unsure if the new priest with whom I spoke may in the future also have time constraints, but only gave me much time because it was my first time with him. If it is helpful, since I am in college out of town, the times that I am in college I have confession over the phone anyways. There is a priest in my college town, though I feel a bit uncomfortable confessing to him because he is a monk and I am female (confession with him would just be just during my time in college). I can also try confessing to him if you think that may be best, as I think he would be able to give more time on a regular basis because our church here is very small and I would be able to have face-to-face confession throughout most of the year. By the way, this monk-priest is only here for us during his graduate theological studies at the university; otherwise, usually he is in the monastery in a different state.
• I really do not feel comfortable when I talk to the priest in the States but sometimes I have to go to him not just to confess, but because I need someone trustworthy to talk to.Also sometimes I feel sad for no specific reason to the point of crying. Why is it so?
• If one's father is a priest, is that person allowed to confess to him? If so, does the rule apply to other Oriental Orthodox Churches?