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Our church female saints  all have a common denominator of virtues. Meekness, humility, silence and submission are glamorized. A prime example is our Holy Virgin Mother, St. Mary. She is a model of our faith, venerated and exonerated; mainly due to all the holy virtues of silence, submission, humility, obedience and so on. But what can I do if I am not born good, and do not have all the qualities of St. Mary, Tamav Erene, Om Il Ghalaba. I absolutely love and adore these characteristics, but I find it is so difficult to attain. I fall short of being gentle, quiet and meek. As such I am constantly struggling with my identity, and my personality which the American culture would label a "leader". I am unable to reconcile my personality with that my father and others wish I had. I fear I will go to hell because I am not of this same gentle nature. My confusion does not at all affect my belief in God; but is mainly confined to personal and social confusion. Is there any place in the church and in heaven for women who are God loving and God fearing, but not like St. Mary? 

You are honest with yourself and this is a very important spiritual trait; because it helps  recognize what you are lacking. How the American and Egyptian societies label you is less significant than how you are using those qualities. If your leadership style is offensive to others, then you ought to pray that God will guide you in refining these attributes to be more conducive to His service. Effective leaders as yourself can further develop their leadership skills by praying for wisdom and first applying the virtues you are striving for directly to God. Out of your love for God, you will be gentler, humbler, and more compliant to His Will. "So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God" (James 1:19,20).
 
Each individual has a unique personality. Personalities are changeable. They also include a certain temperament which may interfere with their spiritual growth. Children with tantrums are called stubborn. If these traits persist as they get older, they are then known to be obstinate, rebellious, or defiant. Personalities are a work in progress. Our Lord Himself referred to St. John the Beloved and his brother St. James as "Boanerges, Sons of Thunder" (Mark 3:17) because of their zeal. This is the same St. John who is more often referred to as the beloved and is generally depicted as meek, humble, and submissive.
  
Meekness, humility, gentleness, submission and slowness to speak are not equivalent to weakness. Regardless of what some cultures try to reinforce, these qualities require spiritual strength, faith, personal conviction, and true assertiveness. Continue to strive for virtues that bring you closer to God. These virtues come with much struggle and spiritual maturity. You are not asked to live a life of hypocrisy. Sometimes the message gets lost in its delivery. A genuine understanding of the message is as pertinent as how the message is delivered. Some tweaking could be required, only if it is out of sincerity. The common denominator amongst the wonderful saints you have mentioned is not specific just for women. We all are called to strive for these virtues. "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and My burden is light" (Matthew 11:29).