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I want to know what makes a woman in God's eyes. "charm is deceitful and beauty passing, but the woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised" is my favorite verse, because despite the fact that I know God cares about inner beauty only, it is hard to remember it because of the constant bombardment from society and I know its a weakness of mine. I even find things in the Bible that make me uncomfortable, like the fact that Jacob took one look at Rachel and decided he loved her because of her beauty, although he was a righteous man. And the verse, "Leah's eyes were delicate, but Rachel was beautiful in form and appearance", as if that explains everything. Also, if all that is said about inward beauty is true, then why do some women who are godly and are servants in the church wear very expensive things and some wear a lot of make-up? I get thrown off because I sort of look up to them. I just want to be a good woman, how can I do that?

There is nothing wrong with taking care of one's apparel as long as it does not become the main interest in life that preoccupies us and hinders us from being true children of God. Definitely inner beauty is more important than looks and outside apparel. However, beauty reveals the greatness of our Creator. The Holy Bible describes many righteous women as beautiful. Sarai (Gen 12:11,14); Rebekah (Gen 24:16; 26:7) Rachel (Gen 29:17) Abigail (1 Sam 25:3).  The main point is how much this beauty takes of our life time, our interest and our attention. "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" (Mt 6:2; Lk 12:34) St. Paul advices women saying "in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works" (1 Tim 2:9,10). St. Peter says "Your adornment must not be merely external -- braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God" (1 Peter 3:3-4). Together, these passages do not prohibit the wearing of jewelry or the braiding of hair but they say 'their adornments should not merely be external'.

To be a good woman is to be a good Christian, to be modest bearing in mind "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed" (Romans 12:2) and "show yourself an example of those who believe" (1 Timothy 4:12).

The first step towards becoming a good woman is to stop criticizing or comparing yourself to others because if you do that you will get frustrated and lose your internal peace. This is a sin in itself. Also, each person has a different personality and different circumstances. Leave each one to be judged by God, for He searches hearts and knows everything. What is between one person and God is a sacred ground that no one should tread on. Let your measuring scale be the Word of God and not human beings. Do what you feel at peace doing without measuring up or down to any one.