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A reward system was recently implemented in our Sunday School in the hope of improving participation in class and spiritual habits:  class attendance, confession, Liturgy attendance, memorizing verses, praying, etc. The children are rewarded for each task with credits or points, which can later be used to "buy" gifts from a pool of pre-purchased toys from the Sunday School fund. Previously, the children were already confessing, memorizing, attending Sunday School and the Liturgy, etc. with no rewards. This new system was only implemented to boost more participation.
 
After this system was introduced, we noticed a difference in many children's behavior towards their spiritual tasks. We often get questions like: "If I do this... (confess, attend the Liturgy, etc.), do I get points? How many points do I get?" After completing a task: "Where are my points? Can we get more?" These questions were non-existent before. At times, we feel as if we are "paying" them to do well or to behave well. Some children, especially older ones, treat the points as real money, counting and saving them, and even arguing over them. Other servants also noticed that some children who were previously well-behaved (before the reward system) have changed and became worse.
 
The children seem distracted and miss out on the real spiritual benefit of godly behavior. It is apparent that many confess or come to Sunday School simply to get points. This is very unsettling for us as it seems to undermine all the spiritual benefits we've tried to instill in them. Our questions for Your Grace are as follows:

1. How do we encourage the children without crossing over to bribing or manipulating their behavior (by using points or other methods)?


2. We heard this has been used in Egypt, does it work?

Cultivating spirituality in children does not need to depend on rewards or bribery. There are many flaws with the premise of using points and rewards for promoting spirituality. Good behavior and academic achievements sometimes require creative incentives for young children, but spirituality should come inherently from within the child as he/she matures into adolescence and adulthood. This learned spiritual behavior comes from witnessing true examples in the home, church, and social environment. It becomes sown in that good land of a ready heart prepared for the good seed to be planted. Whether the concept of a reward system is used in Egypt or anywhere else in the world for spiritual advancement, does not make it best practices. Raising children requires teaching principles. The goal in itself does not justify the means. When we water down our principles, we reduce our standards to worldly expectations. This is in fact how the world rewards those who produce. Spirituality is not measured by production quantity or personal ambition, but by the quality of effort one makes in a loving and growing relationship with Christ. How can the quantity of partaking in the Holy Sacraments for a price be reconciled? How can we put a price on the life and suffering of Christ to redeem us be summed up in negotiated material tokens? All the giants in our spiritual education were leaders inspired by God, not by points or earthly rewards. Giving a material object for a spiritual task equalizes the two as if they are at the same level, when in reality they can never be. By rewarding the ambitious child, you are creating a new power void of deep spiritual yearning with which you will have to contend in the future. Meanwhile, you will lose your grip on the humble child who will struggle with the guilt of not submitting to these distorted hypocrisies. When then will the servant teach virtues? Is there a price for virtues? Does one virtue acquire more tokens than another? Which Holy Sacrament is of the most commercial value? As you can see, I am perplexed by this wave of doing business as usual in regard to teaching children to develop spirituality and a loving relationship with God. In heaven, there will be no place for these exchanges or by these questionable standards which demand that their rewards be negotiated here on earth. Servants cannot be lazy and look for shortcuts. While many attempt to take shortcuts to another's mind and heart, there are no shortcuts to the soul. Teach the children love and help them to grow in virtue, personal responsibility, and community outreach. Provide them opportunities to serve one another and their communities and relate these experiences to the Holy Scriptures and the Holy Sacraments. Teaching principles, values, and virtues are far more difficult and require a loving servant who is willing to serve without tire and be faithful above all. The fruit of this faithful servant will far outlast and far produce more love, virtue, and faithfulness, to the measure of God's gracious pleasure in His children.

"For I have known him, in order that he may command his children and his household after him, that they keep the way of the LORD, to do righteousness and justice, that the LORD may bring to Abraham what He has spoken to him" (Genesis 18:19).