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Few weeks ago I confessed a serious sin to my spiritual father. Although, I stopped doing those bad deeds, I'm still suffering from the core problem (thoughts of homosexuality). In the recent weeks, I acquired a new bad habit to fulfill those twisted desires through chatting with people on the Internet. As Your Grace can see, I have put myself in another bad situation. I have tried several times repenting for a couple of days only to collapse again. Please pray for me because I feel deep depression and the desperation is getting closer to me.

Do not despair because there is always hope when we set our mind to do the will of the Lord. Sometimes it is not easy to give up the life of sin. St. Paul says, "For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do" (Rom 7:15).

What you lack is self control. You need to hate the sin and be transformed by the renewal of your mind. Pray the Lord to give you the courage, faith and strength to put aside undesirable behaviors.  Ask the Holy Spirit to lead you, set your mind on the things of the Spirit "For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit" (Rom 8:5). Have faith that you can do whatever God wills with His help "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Phil 4:13).

Empower yourself with the Word of God to be able to defeat sin. "Above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints" (Eph 6:16-18).

It is by continuously praying and reading the Holy Bible that we can reach self control, and enjoy the fruit of the Spirit. Read the Holy Bible with understanding that you may learn, find wisdom and hear the voice of the Lord "If indeed you have heard Him and have been taught by Him, as the truth is in Jesus: that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness" (Eph 4:21-24).

Do you need the internet? Why don't you disconnect it even if you need it, so you will be left with one option which is to go to a public library when you need the internet in something useful. I recommend highly disconnecting it. Ask Abouna to involve you in church activities. Practice learn by heart all the scriptures that I have mentioned above so that when sinful thoughts attack you, you answer back with the word of God. The best weapon to fight thoughts is not by more thoughts but by the Word of God. Write those Holy Scriptures on posters and post them in your room. Put the picture of our Lord on the Cross in your room to remind you that He has died for you so that you may not go back to your sinful thoughts.