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I am so far from God that I don't know if I die today where I would go. I want to be baptized, but I need to change, and I don't know, nor do I hear God's voice directing me any more. Will you please pray for me, and tell me what I should do.

God never forgets any of His children because He wants everyone to be saved "For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth" (1 Tim 2:3-4).

Self-examination is the first step towards repentance, renewal of mind and life change. It is good that you came to this stage and now you should have faith that you can change and become the child of God that He wants you to be.

Also having a spiritual father will help you to hear the voice of God once again, teach you to differentiate between right and wrong, guide you in the process of changing and growing spiritually, and support you when you grow weak. I highly recommend that you have a spiritual father, with whom you may meet weekly during this difficult time in your life.

To be close to God, you need to hear His words through reading the Holy Bible daily. This will teach you what is right,and will enlighten your mind. Ask for wisdom and understanding from the Lord and do not cease to pray diligently. Prayer leads to faith. Believe that God cares about you very much and is with you at all times when you seek Him. Have confidence that with God all things are possible and that you can change and get closer to Him if you just focus your life on Him.