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I need specific advice please. I’m afraid that for the past few months my spiritual life has been absolutely horrible, I’ve stopped praying, and all sorts of bad things have caught up with me. I have made a firm decision to return to being very serious and I don't plan on ever leaving Christ’s hand. I’ve made an appointment with Abouna so I can confess next week, but until then, I need practical advice on how to restart my life in Christ. There is a mistake I made for which I need advice. I got into a relationship, and it wasn't serious. I didn't even touch the girl, besides shaking her hand. I realized it was a huge mistake, because I don't see myself getting married, but rather devoting my life to Christ. I still chose to go on with the mistake, and I broke everything off with her. The problem is that I was able to let go easily because of my plan for life in the monastery. On the other hand, I think she is hurt and I regret making that mistake. I’m praying that God removes the memory of me from her mind.

It is important that you realized that you need to seek the counsel and absolution of your Confession Father. He needs to be updated with your current struggles in order to set you back on track again. There are two issues of concern at hand. The more serious concern is your fading fervor in your relationship with Christ Jesus. When you feel like you are becoming more weak, rather than stopping your spiritual canon, continue to exercise as much or as little as you can. An illustration of this is if a wealthy man loses his fortune, does he stop giving? Is he justified to not be charitable because of his situation? The answer is he cannot afford to lose this spiritual exercise, because this virtue is helping to sustain him and so to war against the evil one. When Satan tries to deceive you to give up on areas of your spiritual life, maintaining any aspect of the spiritual exercise becomes a weapon for you to help you get back on your feet again and be victorious over the wiles of the devil.

The second matter, which in your case may be actually less serious, is the friendship you developed with this young lady. Since you have not yet committed to the monastic life, nor are in the process of becoming a novice, it is important to rule out that marriage is not the life meant for you to lead. If you found yourself attracted to someone, it is important to consider the option of a life of marriage. Marriage, celibacy, and monasticism can all be holy before the Lord. This is the time of your life in which you must faithfully explore the options before you and consult with your Confession Father. Therefore, you will not have any regrets in the future. Your goal is not just the monastic life, but a life that is pleasing before God.

Always be a gentleman when dealing with young ladies. Women are more sensitive, sentimental, and emotional. Continue being courteous and genuine. If a situation like this arises again, use wisdom, patience, and the guidance of your Confession Father for spiritual discernment.

"I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you'..." (Luke 15:18).