Q&A Home > R > Repentance

I am 18 years old. I used to go out with someone from church and we recently broke up; because I wanted to take a break and get closer to God. He was lying to his parents about our relationship; and I felt I was getting in the way. But ever since we broke up I felt farther from God. I don't attend church to avoid seeing him and I feel sad and hurt from inside. I still want us to be together in the future. When we were together we did things we weren't happy about and I regret them from all my heart. We were serious about our relationship and planning to get married in the future. We were together for 4 years and we did love one another. We also helped each other to become closer to God and work harder on our studies. I pray to God about it to let me do the right thing; but I just can't find the answer. I want to go to church to focus on God but I don't know how. I feel bad for all I have done; and I regret many things. I don't know how to go back.

You have mentioned regrets twice. You have already discovered several parts of the solutions you are seeking:

1. Recognizing that a mistake has been made (the relationship with this young man, the lies he had to tell to conceal it, the negative impact this relationship has had on the family).




2. Realizing that sin has separated you from God (trying to stay away from church to avoid this young man).




3. Regretting wholeheartedly the sins you have committed.


4. Repenting (praying to God to make things right and desiring God to fill your heart and His angels to surround you).




5. Releasing your sins in Confession (other sins than the ones mentioned in your sincere note). This step will help you in your battle and struggle against  the desire to stay connected to this young man and the fantasy of another chance in the future with him. Seek constant guidance through the sacrament of confession to keep you focused on your goal..."to do the right thing"..."to be close to God"...finding your "way back to church"...putting your "life back on track"... & "be happy again." All these things  were  suddenly and  subtly stolen from you. Because marriage is a, blessed, and holy sacrament, you will not find peace in any relationship sharing the expression of these unique emotions outside this union. You have tried to convince yourselves that you were actually getting closer to God and improving your studies. All the while, you were drifting deeper into sin. The parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15:17,18) illustrates this strange spiritual slumber that took hold of him while he gradually separated himself from God until he awoke and found himself in such a mess. "But when he came to himself, he said...'I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him "Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you..." His father accepted his repentance and celebrated with him.




6. Returning: In the Midnight Praise, we conclude the prayers with "Your mercies O my God are countless...The sins I have committed do not remember my Lord, and do not count my iniquities...For you do not desire the death of a sinner, but rather that he returns, and that his soul may live...."




7. Rejoicing: Pray that God will always help you as He had helped King David the Prophet
   in his repentance. Try meditating on Psalm 50 "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me...Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me by Your generous Spirit..."