Coptic Orthodox Diocese of the Southern United States
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I met a guy last year in August and we were just friends for a while up until he told me he had feelings for me and I do too. I am only 18, a freshman in college and he is 19, a sophomore/junior in college. We understand completely that we are both young for anything right now and that we both have school to finish before anything major can happen. I waste too much time talking to him; and as a result my grades went down. I also feel guilty for not having told my parents earlier than that. Is it wrong to have such a relationship even if I try to work hard at school and consult with my confession father?

I am glad to see you assessing your situation honestly and not denying that this relationship is hindering your success. You are young and what you feel now is a desire or lust to be with him and talk to him for lengthy periods of time. Let your mind control your emotions. Do not let your emotions overcome your reason. There are some criteria I would like you to consider before entering into a relationship with this person or any other one.

Consider your age and your experience in life. Do you think you are old and mature enough to make a life long commitment with this person? Are you sure these emotions you have for him are long lasting and not just a temporary desire? What attracted you to him, his physical appearance, his personality or his spirituality? He has feelings for you, are these feelings enough for a life long commitment? Is he ready and mature enough to start a family? When we start a relationship with a person, this relationship should be a building relationship. It should make us grow spiritually, and not hinder our spiritual life or our school achievement and I see that this does not apply in your case. You need to think about all these points before starting any relationship. You might not like what I am going to tell you; but this is what I think you should do: you should cut down on your phone calls and wean him out of your life for a period of time at least till you finish this school year and see how you feel afterwards. Most importantly, I would like you to pray about this matter and ask the Lord to guide you. I also suggest the book called "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris. I know you are not dating per se but this book will help you figure out how God has a plan for everyone and how to wait for the right time.
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