Coptic Orthodox Diocese of the Southern United States
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My fiancé, his mom, his sister, and I are protestant. My fiancé’s father is Coptic. He is putting a lot of pressure on us to have a Coptic ceremony. I agreed to it out of respect to him. However, I did not know until recently that I would have to convert and be baptized in the Coptic Church. Our wedding is only 2 months away now and we have to deal with this big issue. I told them that I didn't feel comfortable getting rebaptized because I was already baptized and joining the Church just to do a ceremony is not right.

My fiancé and I will attend the Coptic Church 1-2x per year out of respect to his dad, but we attend a protestant church and plan to continue attending it after our wedding. We both love God and serve and obey Him and feel like we have been able to grow and become closer to God through the church where we currently attend.

I have expressed my feelings to my fiancé’s family and they are still pressuring me to go through with a Coptic ceremony. I have read in many places, including the baptism and even the ceremony rites, where statements are made saying that you will serve, attend, etc., the Coptic Church. I most certainly will not lie if asked, and I find it hard to believe that a priest would carry through with a baptism and ceremony considering that.

I know my fiancé’s dad is a Christian just as I am and he is a loving man. I know his dad and any other person in the Coptic Church would want to see us attend and get married there, but I am following, obeying God, and growing in my character and faith and feel that the church I attend now is where I am to remain and my fiancé also feels the same way.

I know that the Coptic ceremony is important to my fiancé’s dad, but I am really at a loss as to what to do or to say to him. I feel like if I don't do it, that it will cause problems between us and he will think I am being dishonoring or disrespectful. He said if we don't do a Coptic ceremony, he will not invite his family, and that is hurtful to me.

My fiancé is very stressed over the whole situation and also does not know what to do.

You and your fiancé certainly have a dilemma. It is unfortunate that you are discovering the rites of the Church at a time that is inconvenient for you. Holy Matrimony is a Mystery in the Coptic Orthodox Church. In order for a couple to marry in the Church, both must be practicing their Coptic Orthodox faith. No priest will allow the ceremony to take place unless the couple verifies that they are practicing their faith according to the Church faith. For this reason, one would have to be baptized in the Coptic faith.

Thus here are some steps to follow:


  1. Research the Word of God and share/discuss your findings with a Coptic priest

  2. Research the faith the Holy Bible teaches and share/discuss your findings with a Coptic priest

      
One should not join nor be pressured into the Coptic faith for the sake of a marriage. Instead do due diligence of the Holy Bible and discuss your findings with a Coptic priest. After that decide what you would like to do.

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