Q&A Home > F > Friendship

When I came to the states three or four years ago, I faced the problem of how to make friends. At church, friends my age are cynical, critical and manipulative. Outside church, friends are unchristian, worldly and dangerous. How do I make friends in this new country?

I would like you to pray about this matter and to examine more closely, why you cannot make friends from church. If you have a complete strict style as you say, how come that strict style is acceptable to your school friends who are born and raised in the US and are from a different culture than yours. Are you the only 'newcomer' in your church or are there others who have the same circumstances and would therefore be easy for you to befriend them.

Have you considered also that some Egyptian youth born in the US feel intimidated around newcomers from Egypt? They sometimes have hard time understanding the accent of Egyptians. Their lack of knowledge of the Arabic language is an obstacle that makes them uncomfortable around newcomers. I do not want you to take this situation as being personal. I do not think that they are purposely ignoring you. Usually, when there is a group of friends who have known each other for a long time, they are self sustained and do not look into adding new members to their group. I am not saying that this is right but it is very common. A great way to get closer to people is to have common interests and activities. I am sure that in your church there are a lot of opportunities for you to offer your services and to interact with other youth working together on different projects. This would give them a better chance to know and accept you.